This week’s Justice Notes comes from my White Collar Support Group colleague Stuart Anderson. Stuart writes about the transitions that mark our lives, including those that follow investigation, sentencing, incarceration and release—and the difficulty of understanding what they mean while we are still living through them.
I’m pleased to share his essay here.
TRANSITIONS
Birth. Pulled from the comfort of the womb into cold reality—bright lights, loud noises, naked and alone as we cry in unfamiliar surroundings. Shocking and uncomfortable in the moment. And yet, a new life has begun, with all the possibilities it brings.
The first day of school. The transition to high school. That first heartbreak that felt worse than anything we had ever experienced. Life was over.
But it wasn’t.
Starting a job. Losing a job. Losing someone we love—a father, a grandparent, a sibling. Each marks a transition from what was to what is, at least from where we stand at the time.
Then comes the knock at the door. Federal agents. A target letter.
A world comes to a halt. Panic sets in. But even that is only the beginning: sentencing, self-surrender, prison, release, halfway house, ankle monitors, home confinement, rejected job offers. One transition after another.
Is this the worst? Is this the end of the life I knew?
For a time, it can certainly feel that way.
The hardest part of a transition is that we usually judge it while we are still inside it. We can see clearly what we have lost, but not yet what the change may make possible. We are standing between what was and what comes next, and that uncertainty can make the loss feel permanent.
I had prayed to God to change things for me. I told Him what I wanted. In the end, He did not give me what I wanted. He gave me what I needed: a transition toward something more meaningful and closer to His will.
Perhaps that is the lesson of transitions. We cannot always choose them, and we certainly cannot avoid them. But we can choose what we do when they arrive.
If we listen, remain open, and stop fighting what can no longer be changed, even a painful transition can carry us into the next chapter of our lives.
And the pain we thought would never pass?
That passes too.
Justice Notes is an ongoing series examining incarceration, rehabilitation, storytelling, institutional power, and the lives that exist behind prison walls.
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